to risk sounding like a dumb little emo girl, i would really appreciate a boyfriend in my life. i'm at this point, where i'm too stressed to think (i definitely can't eat [makes me vomity]). i would really love someone around me who i can just have fun with and not be judged by and i can tell anything to. i would really love someone in my life like that. 

but i don't have that. and i don't know how long i have to wait to get that. which is then only added to the stress of my life. 

i'm freaking out. and i'm lonely. 

ps- it's nothing any of my friends can really help, though they try. and i SO appreciate it. really. seriously. i love them. but i have a whole different love that i really want to give.