i miss blogging.

this week. has been a very busy week.

i still can't even tell you if i want to go to new school. no no no. i can tell you that i don't want to go to the new school.

i had a dream someone told me they read my blog. and i was like oh! i should update that!

this week has literally been the craziest week ever.

i tried a real tea that i liked!

i am staying in a super swank ny apartment (note: soon to be mine as well).

i was verbally harassed by a shift leader at work, who subsequently got let go the next day.

met an angel.

i was locked out the/my apartment twice.

i went out for the first time ever with some coworkers.

i renamed hamsters.

i placed an avon order!

i worked everyday 10 to 7:30. (except for on the day i was harassed, because she also made me clock out early and leave).

i missed new jersey.

i'm gonna go today on my day off and get a facial (HOPEFULLY!)

and pick up a few items before i head home on saturday.

i also am fully committed to cleaning the entirety of ashley's room as i have been sleeping there while she has been away.

so i guess that's that.

i heard firecrackers, and my immediate thought was 'oh, i better get missy, she'll be scared.' but i can't get her. cause she's not home. and she's in a home where people will love her and she'll have adopted brothers and sisters.

but i miss her little fuzzy body running to the door when i get home. she's not there when i wake up. i squeezed the pillow next to me this morning by mistake. i guess i need some new habits.

and a stuffed animal.

today is the last day... of my first week... of my sixth job.

and it certainly has not been an easy week. and tonight will not be an exception. as a matter of fact, tonight is the most trying night of them all. as i will be leaving my job, getting back to new jersey at ten.... to stay up til 3 watching harry potter.

I CANNOT STRESS HOW WORTH IT THIS IS THOUGH. <-- at first, i typed 'tho' but i always feel trashy when i don't finish words with -ugh at the end.

let's paint a picture of my first week.

wakeup:5am. rush around. do shit. sit on train for 1.5 hr. take subway, then wander for an hour. struggle through trying to remember what to do. feel stupid. try again. break. wander. eat peanut butter sandwich (made fun of everyday for bringing one). make more mistakes. rush around. walk to subway. have co workers make excuses to not stand or get on subway car with me. run through penn. crowded train. try not to get attacked at somerville station (irrational fear as someone once told me all the crackhead and homeless people live behind the woods at that parking lot). home at 10:15. check email. try to stay awake long enough to take makeup off and brush teeth (achievement unlocked!). sleep at 11. repeat.

Today is not my day and it's only 9:58am

i have three interviews this week.

and it feels like my future is depending on these little minuscule moments. granted, this is my anxiety speaking, but there is so much pressure in general based on interviews. anything out of place, i fear will be scrutinized and analyzed.

and it.makes.me.nervous.

very nervous.

i mean, how can a place tell if i'm right for the job?

i think i'm right for a lot of jobs.

but then again, i haven't gotten one yet... so there's that.

so when this "Dont worry if you have done the task assigned to you, and its not paid on the 30th or 31st day, you will be paid."you get a little worried. i mean, that's not reassuring. if we don't pay you by the time we're supposed to pay you, don't worry.

but i am worried. i want my money.