blue eyeshadow

is a no no. well, for me at least. some people can pull it off. no. that's a lie. no one looks good with all blue eyeshadow. maybe a splash of blue or some blue eyeliner or a navy crease. but today i made the mistake of believing that today an all blue eye wouldn't make me look like a prostitute miss piggy. yeah, well oink oink. and it was even more of a mermaid cartoon slut than missy prostipig.

i'm rambling. the point is: avoid blue eyeshadow unless i give you the go ahead. but even then, we all make mistakes every once in a while.

God save us all

I waxed my own eyebrows today. Not half bad. which means half bad. half good. half at least they're not so hairy anymore.

exciting news!

i got this box of 40 mini fruit roll ups for....

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50 CENTS!

i know alex will appreciate.

ok so

that wasn't too painful. but to be honest i should've kept the dye on longer. it's not quite brilliant black enough for me. but maybe in the daylight it will be. who knows. i survived. the bathroom is re-cleaned. and i don't have brown and gray roots. all is right with the world.

one small step for my roots, one giant step for ashley-kind.

i'm about to do the unthinkable. instead of paying for my color process. i went to a beauty supply and got peroxide and color and i'm going to mix them together and apply my own color. you know that black and blue dye i get slapped on my head every once in a while. there's a few things wrong with this picture:

1. the house literally just got cleaned today by our cleaning lady

2. i am so alone. i cannot see what i've gotten or what i haven't

3. how do i wash this stuff out??? i guess in the shower?

4. did i mention the dye i black and blue?

i'll be sure to post pictures of this hot mess to come.

somehow

it never feels the way it's supposed to. i got into college (another one) and this is the one i was truly aiming for this time. eugene lang the new school. but reading the acceptance letter and realizing i didn't know who to tell or if that's right for me. i've become to accustomed to this applying and waiting and rejecting and accepting process that i've become numb to it all. i should be excited! i should go out and celebrate. but with who? i just wish there was a way to point me in the right direction and say do this. this is what you'll be happy doing and where you'll be happy doing it. go to the new school. and work hard and make friends and learn things. is that what i'm being pointed towards?

i've also decided.

that i want some real kick ass love. i mean everything around us is crumbling, life or death, unrequited love since i was five, infected wounds, beautiful singing voice, hunting other people, tricking the authority hunger games love. i can't believe i ever believed in twilight love, because the hunger games really blow my romantical mind.

i've decided.

i'm not a very good gift giver. i think that it's because i can't remove myself from the gift itself. but should i? i always followed a personal rule that gifts should not only reflect the giftee but the giver. which is why for years and years people got a lot of journals from me. last year, nail polish. this year, i'm desperately trying to make sure i'm not so egocentric. i still think the gift is a reflection upon me, so they can't suck. or should they? food for thought. well, snack for thought.

as if constant anxiety wasn't enough

adding to my perpetual fear of never finding anyone to be with for the rest of my life, i now realize that even if i found someone, they're bound to hate my family. or let me phrase this correctly, my family will act the way they did today and this fictional boyfriend will pass up on the next holiday dinner--- to get teeth pulled. seriously, family, get yourself together. and if you don't believe me, let's take a little looksie into a conversation we had tonight, shall we?

this scene is to be acted out with the melodrama and fake blonde hair of a spanish soap opera. it will star my brother's girlfriend, let's call her L and my mom, let's call her N.

L: (is playing angry birds on her cell phone) well, we decided we're getting married in three places. once in columbia with all my family there, once in jamaica for jay's family. and a brunch here so your grandmother can come. you're invited to all three. so you can go to all or just one if you want.

N: well, no offense L but columbia kind of scares me. so i don't know which one i'll go to.

ME: i'll go to whichever one the airfare is cheaper for.

L: well, N, it's up to you, but columbia is beautiful and if you want to remain ignorant that's your own choice.

N: i'm sure that you could understand what with everything they put on the news...

L: they only want to play negative stories, your son went, he felt safe the whole time, right?

My brother: ...um... no, not always.

L: now you're just making that up. You didn't feel completely safe??

My Brother: not all the time.

L: it's the same as jamaica.

N: kingston, jamaica.

It should be noted that my brother's family is from Jamaica, the incredibly rich part of jamaica-- and not kingston

This is an entirely different tangent. I just wanted to say that everyone I know is fucking crazy. The end.

in which ashley rants about retail.

dear every woman over 30 who is asking my opinion:

as soon as you say you're wearing this fancy gown with patent leather black heels, i immediately regret ever helping you. i will take that commission, but at what cost? The cost of knowing that if I were at this wedding and you were a stranger, i would tweet the whole night about your ugly shoes. No matter how pretty your dress is-- actually especially if your dress is pretty--all the more reason. Secondly, why does every woman say "This dress is black, which is really perfect because I have a pair of black heels at home." Your dress is black. Black. You could literally wear any color of shoe ever made, but you're going to go with black.

Love,

Me

ps- you always use this phrase while you're talking about your future ensemble that really grinds my gears. "i can get away with it right?" why would anyone want to just be able to "get away" with an outfit. why wouldn't you want to look chic or cute or beautiful or sexy. you only get so many years to live and look your best, and you're going to your nephew's wedding in a navy blue dress sucked all up by your spanx with black patent leather shoes because the embellishments on the navy dress are dark navy which is close enough to black, right. you can get away with it, right?

that is all. i promise less shallow posts to come.

i want to throw a drink in your face.

well, not really. but i've always really wanted to have a reason to toss my drink into someone's face. it's actually on my bucket list. which sounds dumb. but think about it: you're throwing a drink in someone's face. they probably offended you. maybe they insulted you. maybe they came onto you. maybe both. in this hypothetical situation, it's an alcoholic drink, so you know that will sting. plus, in my hypothetical situation, i haven't purchased the drink i'm tossing. i wouldn't waste my money on a slob/bitch/jerk like you anyway. just sayin'

so i've given it a lot of thought. i will throw a drink in someone's face. hopefully i won't do it prematurely, because now that i'm set on it, my drink tossing hand is twitching with anticipation.

on a more serious note: read the hunger games. i'm guessing the only person who will read this entry is already reading the hunger games, but if you stumble upon this blog in a google search for throwing drinks in someone's face, read the hunger games by suzanne collins.

it's so much easier to blog when no one's looking.

last night, i was encouraged to start once again re-blogging. i've come to realize that it's more of an online diary than a blog because no one reads it. there's so much safety in that though. i could honestly say whatever and it would be like a secret between me and my blog.

i always wonder. i'm sitting in my underwear in front of my open window. can my neighbors see my butt? i don't think they can i've never peered into their open windows. so i don't know.

also, i feel like i'm going crazy.

that's pretty much what i'm thinking about.

oh yeah and i'm also thinking about if alex niedt still has the hiccups.

nails: i picked them off already.

I'm waiting. for SOMEONE (3 people) to call me. SO CALL ME ALREADY LOSERS. and it's supposed to snow. and if it doesn't, imma be pissed.

sunday i will be getting half of the hong kong collection from OPI. end.

dear a lot of people i know (including myself)

your life is not that bad. stop whining. you are not sick or dying. you have a home and you go to school. your life doesn't suck as bad as you want it to. get over it. like five minutes ago.

LOVE

me.

nails: OPI mad as a hatter.

dear you,

thank you for calling me (finally). i just cannot be happier when we talk about nothing and everything and i feel so much better.

i really truly care about you.

--me.

nails: sephora by OPI what's a tire jack matte with two coats of LA Girls Paparazzi Over.

word of advice to all zero people reading this. try ALL of your sheer glitters over black. just trust me. cause now my nails aren't barbie pink, they're edgy black purple sparkly craziness. Also, bought a concealer from sonia kashuk. i do not like dark circles. but i do like this concealer. a lot.

my webcam is not cooperating so... no picture of me without any real makeup on (lucky you).

PS- I'm doing homework. Boo.

nails: essie lilacism. toes: OPI aphrodite's pink nightie.

i just used skype for the first time and it was skyperific. well, i liked it. and i have things to do and people to see (if they ever call back).

to do:

essays for applications.

math project

fill out fafsa. lame.

read for bio.

bio hw.

enjoy life. (hard to do)

things that make me laugh while hyperventalating.

"we're like a french fucking farce. all we need are doors. and french people. and farce."

"i'm trying to get this nail out of the trunk. it's been in there for 200 years so it's a little stubborn."

weird.

so like almost a year ago i was getting all these panic attacks. the reason i had them still holds true but let's just double it. and i'm back to anxiety attacks. at least i'm not hungry.

oh no...

i can't get a good picture. i made my ring finger on both hands plaid. so cute. lame that no picture will happen. boo.

anyway.tomorrow: class at 8:30-3:20 work 4 to 8. hanging out after. so excited. to say goodbye...? that's not what i mean.

dear no one, i'm blogging (again)!

so i decided to re-blog. the last time i blogged, i probably said something stupid. which i will continue to do. because i can't change who i am, no matter what year it is. now onto this picture. i am currently and was during this picture trying to figure out my new webcam while talking on the phone with saadiq. i should be calling angie to arrange the rest of our potter-thon. anyway. i'll paint my nails and update later. :o)