in which ashley rants about retail.

dear every woman over 30 who is asking my opinion:

as soon as you say you're wearing this fancy gown with patent leather black heels, i immediately regret ever helping you. i will take that commission, but at what cost? The cost of knowing that if I were at this wedding and you were a stranger, i would tweet the whole night about your ugly shoes. No matter how pretty your dress is-- actually especially if your dress is pretty--all the more reason. Secondly, why does every woman say "This dress is black, which is really perfect because I have a pair of black heels at home." Your dress is black. Black. You could literally wear any color of shoe ever made, but you're going to go with black.

Love,

Me

ps- you always use this phrase while you're talking about your future ensemble that really grinds my gears. "i can get away with it right?" why would anyone want to just be able to "get away" with an outfit. why wouldn't you want to look chic or cute or beautiful or sexy. you only get so many years to live and look your best, and you're going to your nephew's wedding in a navy blue dress sucked all up by your spanx with black patent leather shoes because the embellishments on the navy dress are dark navy which is close enough to black, right. you can get away with it, right?

that is all. i promise less shallow posts to come.