me: (looks as outfit and notices she's wearing a lovely crocheted white sweater and black skinny slacks and a nude sparkle headband) i don't think you need doc martens
he#1: why not?
me: i don't think it does with anything you own. i mean like your whole thing is this retro french audrey hepburn deal.
he#1: are you calling me fat?
me: WHAT?
he#1: no cause the whole reason people can't wear doc martens is cause only skinny people can wear them.
me: i...don't... think that's true. and i didn't say you were fat. i was simply asking what you would wear them with.
he#1: oh. (puts on plain black oxfords and leaves for starbucks)
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