i'm blogging from a very emotional place:

it's 1am. i'm gonna get my period soon. and it rained and was gross out.

i just want the universe to know what i'm looking for. and why i'm unhappy with it.

i just really don't want to be alone. my whole life i have put this pressure on myself to find someone. ever since i was little i wanted to get married at 18. obviously, i'm 21. but i guess what's truly important to me in this future or nonexistent person are a few key elements.

1. i need someone who will try. because i would rather have someone who tries too hard than someone who pretends to not care.

2. i really value quality time. so with this future/maybe nonexistent person and also with other people.

3. this one is the most important to me. i don't want my aspirations to be more important, and i don't want his aspirations to be more important. i want to help him with his and i want him to help me with mine. a companionship.

because for me, there is no such thing as someone "perfect" for me. or no such thing as people who are perfect for each other. just people who like you enough to work at it.

so universe, i hope this person exists. and if he doesn't, i guess that's ok, too. cause really who do i think i am? how should i know what's best for me?

ps- sorry if this is depressing. i didn't mean for it to be. it's kind of like. well, who knows what life has to offer.