new york and caring

i have been trying to sleep for 2 hours.

thinking it would be short and not a two hour conversation when my roommate asked me if she could skype with her friend i said yes.

i tried everything. i tried headphones. i tried pillow over the head. i tried scuffing around so she'll take a fucking hint and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

but she won't. she doesn't understand whispers. she doesn't understand not slamming her fists against the wall/bed/computer.

she is an inconsiderate robot. born only to break me down to my most base level of bitch.

at first i was angry. infuriated. i literally wanted to rip her face off.

then i realized, i'm not angry, i'm incredibly sad.

because this girl represents my relationship with new york.

it makes me sick that there is a complete lack of common courtesy. i live with 3 other girls. 2 of them lack courtesy and any self-concept whatsoever.

i truly wanted to cry because she represents the part of new york that doesn't just not care-- it doesn't care about me.

i feel like no one here actually does. and while yes this is part of moving to a new place and adjusting, i don't know how much this will change. the large part of new york will always talk loudly while i try to sleep. that's just the way the fucking cookie crumbles. it's unfortunate. but it's true.

oh btw, i've gone back to angry. TWO FUCKING HOURS. you'd go through a lot too.